Originally written on 2/27/17
What if we stop thinking about what we, as parents, have to teach our children and start thinking about what our children can teach us parents about life. Hmm, interesting thought..... Flynn is my spunky, persistent, non-stop little man. He has a beautiful soul all wrapped up in his tiny little 20-pound body. His smile can light up a room and with that smile, he has the ability to put you in the moment and realize what truly is important; love. The moment I became pregnant with Flynn I knew something just was off with me. I tried my best to ignore it but with each passing moment, I became more and more anxious. Eventually, I learned to suppress my anxiety and tell myself that it would all go away once Flynn was born, I was wrong. Eventually, my anxiety turned into depression and I became a statistic; I was 1 of the 600,000 women who suffer annually from postpartum depression. That's a lot to swallow, so take that in, 600,000 women yearly suffer from postpartum depression; that's 600,000 women who likely don't talk about it because they feel that they don't meet the precise criteria or they are ashamed that they are no longer in control of their thoughts and emotions. For me, I was in complete denial, I love my children way too much to be depressed, or at least that is how I rationalized. Slowly but surely, God gave me the tools, people, and love in my life that helped put me back on track. Eventually, I realized that Flynn was here to teach me his first life lesson, LOVE. Of course, I already knew how to love others, but truthfully, I had no idea how to love myself, and luckily, Flynn taught me, self-love, without even saying a word (no pun intended :D) He taught me to love myself when my mind wouldn't, and sometimes, still doesn't. That little smile that I briefly talked about before brings me back to reality. That little smile makes me realize that if I can't be happy, healthy, and at peace with myself then how can I expect anyone else to be, especially my children? And for me, that is my ultimate goal: Raise happy, healthy, and loving children who are one with their mind, body, and soul. Last night my little Flynn gave me another gift, I was able to rock him to sleep. I was able to thank him, love him, and cherish a moment in time...For when he wakes, he will continue to move mountains.
